One Year Without My Mom

Mom's 75th Redo

Momma, I can’t believe the 7th marked a month since you left your heavenly body. These last few weeks have felt like the longest of my life. Learning to navigate my life without your physical presence has been the hardest challenge of my 47 years. Going from speaking every day to never hearing your voice again has been the hardest day to day to accept.  We talk about you everyday and I start and end my day with a blessing for your new eternal life to be one of peace and freedom from the decade long journey of pain you so valiantly and gracefully walked.

I call GeeGee every day and we share what we miss most about you and tell funny stories. You filled our life with such an incredible energy and learning to live life without that energy feels like at times there isn’t enough air in my lungs. I’m learning to accept grief and this grieving process as part of my daily life. Sometimes I wish it would just leave me alone and other times I find comfort in its grasp. I know there’s no way around it but to walk, stumble, crawl through it.

The peace of knowing you’re free has finally settled into my own thoughts and there is comfort there. Believing you’re in a better place, in a healthy eternal existence brings me comfort on the days when I think I can’t make it through.

I see you and feel you all around me. Thank you for making yourself present to me.  I guess like everything else in my life, I will continue to take it one day at a time. It’s worked so far, and I believe it will continue to do so.

I miss you Mom.